Friday, March 1, 2013

Birthmom Counselor Meeting

We met with the birth mom counselor and Nightlight yesterday for about 2 hours.  I am constantly impressed and thrilled with each person we meet there, they are all so wonderful.  We learned a whole bunch of really helpful information.  Some was reassuring, some was a little intimidating.

We got a bunch more information about the time between when we are matched, the baby is born, and the finalization.  First, we have another few forms to fill out about our desired child (which is any race, and up to 6 months old).  We fill out another one about the birth mom and what sort of things we are looking for.  If Renee (the birth mom counselor) thinks we would be a good fit, she will show her our birth parent letter and our portfolio.  If it clicks, then we met.  AFTER we met the decision is made if we are a match. If so, we get to know each other, make plans, talk about our level of open-ness, etc.  The kind of nerve racking part, is we learned more information about the placement process.  The state of Colorado is apparently the strictest when it comes to adoption.  First of all, the birth mom doesn't relinquish her parental rights until the baby is four days old.  Assuming that goes smoothly and the baby is healthy, they'll leave the hospital with us.  Then, the paper work is sent to a judge to sign off on.  This takes 2-4 weeks. Ultimately, while waiting for the judge to process the paperwork, even though the baby is with us, the birth mom has the right to change her mind.  Although this makes me nervous, Renee reassured us that even though this DOES happen, it is quite RARE.  We know that ultimately it is all in God's hands, and we will just have to remind ourselves that during that time.  Really, up until the judge signs the paper, the birth mom is calling all the shots.  At first, to be honest,that sort of bothered me.  Then Renee said that during this time, we need to be selfless and realize that this woman deeply loves her child.  We may need to sacrifice our own plans and ideas for a short while, but then we end up with forever with our little pumpkin.  :) 

We also met with Beth to review our home study! The hang up though is still with the CBI.  They haven't gotten our official finger prints and background checks returned to Nightlight yet.  So, all of our work with the Home Study is complete.  Once Beth gets the final say so, she'll just plug in the dates and we'll be officially done.

That was all the big news! Now I'm off to our 'Crop Night' fundraiser! You can still come join us tonight or tomorrow and just pay there!

Thanks for all the prayers and support, as always.

2 comments:

  1. I understand your nervousness about that possibility of losing your child. It's natural to fear that. After all, you've already had enough loss in your life. It was too big of a fear for me. That is one of the reasons that we went for an older child who had no known relative stepping forward for several years. Each adoption journey is different and each is filled with it's own thrills and challenges. But, you are right, that ultimately it is really God who is in control. I'm sure He has the best plan for you!

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  2. Exactly! Thanks for the understanding and support too.

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